


Tofu

by mileskaane



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale Has a Penis (Good Omens), Crowley Has A Vulva (Good Omens), M/M, Masturbation, Multiple Orgasms, Phone Sex, orgasming whilst eating tofu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-04 09:27:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20468759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mileskaane/pseuds/mileskaane
Summary: Aziraphale is just trying to enjoy a meal out. Until he's interrupted by the demon at home.





	Tofu

**Author's Note:**

> this took a whole month to write bc i'm that terrible at motivating myself to write
> 
> follow me on tumblr @mangostv

The salt and pepper tofu was excellent, but Aziraphale hadn’t quite expected to orgasm when he bit into it. A sudden wave of overwhelming pleasure worked its way up his body from the groin upwards and he shuddered, bending over his plate, nearly dipping his nose into the sweet chilli sauce, and he let out an involuntary groan.

He was at a new Vietnamese restaurant that had opened close to his bookshop, and he’d been desperate to try it out. When it had reached lunchtime on that particular Saturday and he found Crowley still asleep in bed, he’d begrudgingly gone alone. The angels mood had instantly lifted at the aromas that hit him as he entered the restaurant. It smelled divine. But there was this slight issue when he tried his starter.

“Sir? Are you okay, sir?” The concerned waiter asked him.

“O-Oh yes, um. Sudden stomach cramps. If you’ll excuse me.” The angel gave a fake smile and frantically hobbled over to the bathroom. He was thankful that it was only a single stall bathroom and that he could be in there alone.

He undid his trousers and assessed the situation. Why had he just involuntarily ejaculated in his trousers in a Vietnamese restaurant? The angel was about to magic his clothes clean when the familiar feeling of an impending orgasm returned. In shock, Aziraphale fell backwards against the wall as his legs buckled and another orgasm rippled through him far too soon after the previous one. Whining with oversensitivity, his hips bucked and he ruined his nice shirt with cum. These stains were going to be a pain to get out. He hated himself for choosing to have a cock today.

“Good lord.” he murmured, coming back to his senses. He did what he did whenever he didn’t know what to do; he rang Crowley.

After taking far too long to answer, the demon answered the phone with a breathless “a-angel?” 

“Crowley? You’re awake. What are you doing?”

“Uh. Fingering myself.”

Aziraphale swallowed.

“What..genitalia do you have currently?”

“A twat, why?”

“I- do you really have to refer to it as that?”

“What do you want, angel?”

“I’d like to know why I just had two involuntary orgasms whilst trying to enjoy my meal!” the angel snapped. 

“...Pardon?”

Aziraphale sighed.

“Were you thinking about me?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I assume that you thinking about me was connecting us somehow, leading me into orgasming at the same time as you. How were you doing it so soon after the first time?”

“That’s the magic of a vagina, angel. Now are you going to stick around there much longer or are you going to come home and fuck me?”

That knocked all the air out of the angels non-existent lungs. Aziraphale found himself quite speechless for a moment before thinking of a devilish plan.

“I think I’m going to stay here.”

“Oh.” Came the reply, drowned in disappointment.

“You don’t technically need me there to do the job, do you? Perhaps I want to stay on the line and hear you continue to touch yourself.”

Now it was the demons turn to be speechless. 

“Go on.” Aziraphale said. Some shuffling could be heard down the line and then a soft moan from the demon.

“S’good,” Crowley said softly down the phone. “But I wish you were here with me.”

“I bet you’re desperate for my head between your thighs, aren’t you my dear?”

“Shit.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

Against all odds, Aziraphale was beginning to get hard again. It didn’t help that Crowley was softly moaning down the phone and directly into Aziraphale’s ear.

“Angel...I need your cock, need to be filled,” Crowley groaned down the line. 

“I’m afraid fingers will have to do for now, darling. Or perhaps one of your special toys?”  
The demon groaned again, this time in frustration, but after a few moments of shuffling about, Aziraphale heard a faint buzzing on Crowley’s end.

“What are you using?” Aziraphale asked, his hand now stroking his cock at a steady rhythm.

“I’m being greedy.” Crowley panted down the phone. “Riding a dildo and using my magic wand.”

Aziraphale moaned at the mental image, forgetting his location for a second. Somehow his cock was already leaking and throbbing in his hand. He increased his pace.

“Imagining its my cock you’re riding, darling?”

“Yeah, f-fuck.” Crowley was barely able to form words at this point. He felt unbelievably full and desperate to cum, each thing Aziraphale said bringing him closer.

“Naughty, greedy thing. Already so close when you’ve orgasmed twice in the past five minutes!” 

“P-please. Aziraphale, please,” Crowley choked out. Aziraphale moaned at the sound of his demon saying his name.

“Go on, my dear. Don’t hold back.”

A few more seconds of gasps and moans could be heard from Crowley’s end, as well as the insistent buzzing of the vibrator before a cry of the angels name rang out loudly, making Aziraphale flinch with the volume.

“Oh my..” Aziraphale breathed, reaching his own orgasm at the sounds his lover was making. He moaned weakly, his third orgasm in quick succession completely taking it out of him.

“You better be back here in 15 minutes or I’m going home” Crowley panted down the phone.

“Righty-ho, I’ll finish up my tofu first”

He heard Crowley tsk before hanging up. Rolling his eyes, he miracled himself clean again and tucked himself back into his trousers, hoping he still looked presentable.

“Are you alright, sir?” the waiter from before asked when he spotted Aziraphale finally leaving the bathroom.

“Quite alright. I just have...IBS?”

The waiter looked embarrassed and nodded.

“Could I have the bill, please?” Aziraphale smiled. 

With a slight flick of the wrist, his tofu was warm again.


End file.
